I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written anything. It's been a little crazy, and I mean that I've been a little crazy. Or so I thought....
Lately I've been home more with my girls, and it's great to be able to get to do things that I wasn't able to do before. Then came the sinking feeling that I didn't want to leave the house. Come to find out, I've been suffering with some anxiety/depression problems. I really thought that I was going crazy! I didn't even want to go places with my kids for fear that I would have a panic attack. Then I would feel guilty about not going and missing out on it.
It's been getting better, but I'm still working on me. I know that this runs in my family, and the hardest part has been admitting that I just couldn't make it better on my own. I've cried more than I have in a long time, and my poor girls have watched me go through it. That's not the mom I want to be and it kills me. I want to be the happy mom that plays and goes everywhere to experience those things with them.
I never wanted to go on medication, but it does seem to be helping. I hope that I keep getting better, and I'm trying every day to do things and get out with my girls. I know that I'm not alone, and it seems to be worse when the girls both want something from me! If you are a parent of twins, you know what I mean, when they come into the room both screaming at you for something? It can be overwhelming and that makes it harder.
I have found support from friends, family, and coworkers that I never expected. If you are going through something similar, just know, you aren't crazy, you are not alone! Together we can get through anything, and God will help us with the rest! Stay strong, and try to find a reason to smile everyday!
Mine is when my girls play nicely together and find something to laugh over! That is the sweetest sound!
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