COVID Crazy

This year has been insane!

Anyone else feel like you're going a little crazy?  I know I'm not alone in this! LOL!!

I think that the hardest part of this year has been all the uncertainty.  I mean, for me I started working again and then the office I worked for closed.  Then it's been trying to find jobs to work remotely from home and all of that craziness!

Then comes the stress for us parents: do you send your kids back to school or do the virtual school platform?  

It was such a hot button issue for many people that I saw on social media, and everyone had their own opinions.  I'm such a firm believer that people need to make the choices that are right for them and they have the right to do that.

For me, I choose to keep my kids at home with me.  I'm not going to lie, I was very nervous about it, especially with all that common core math that drives me INSANE!!!!

I have to say though, now that we are in the second quarter of school, I made the right choice for me and my girls!  They have excelled and are doing so well!  They have learned more responsibility by know what time they need to be in school or go back to class after lunch and recess, I couldn't be more proud!  Plus, they're excited to learn!  They love to come and tell me what they have learned on their breaks, and the smiles on their faces make me so excited too!  

They also have improved their grades from where they ended last school year!  They are thriving and loving every minute of it!  They want to do science experiments with me and are just so happy!  Plus, they are feeling more independent because they are the ones making sure that they log into school and do all of their work.  

What amazes me is how much they both love to learn things outside of school and take on more responsibility too!  They want to help with the cooking and cleaning more than ever, and they are even doing their laundry own their own!  I have to help a little with pouring the detergent, but they are on it 100% and like to do it! 

Then they want me to teach them more about knitting and crocheting.  Let me tell you, they are better knitters than I could ever have been at their age!!!!!  It makes my heart so proud to see them learning and growing, and there are times I wish it would slow down.  We even one day moved all the furniture around and turned my house into a roller rink!!  There were lots of laughs that day!!

This year has been crazy, but I think that for my little family it has been kind of awesome too.  While the girls can drive me insane sometimes and you feel like you need your mommy juice, the memories I am making with them and the things they are learner are absolutely priceless!  I've made it a point to take the time to paint with them and craft with them.  We sit down and pick a movie and each have our own little projects that we work on.  We get to laugh and enjoy this time while we are making something pretty that we will all enjoy.

I think that is the biggest thing that we can all take away from this year.  While your family can drive you crazy, learn to embrace and enjoy those little quiet (or in my house not so quiet hahaha!!) moments that are making magical memories for your family!  I hope that you all are safe and happy and may God bless you all!

Mom Shaming

Well, it certainly has been a while since I've felt inspired to write on here, but here I am with an issue that I feel like every mom has had to deal with and makes being a mom even harder. 

Mom Shaming.

It's an epidemic and a major problem.

The hard part is, it can come from so many different places that you just feel blindsided.  Some people can make it seem like they are giving friendly advice, while others are just blatantly horrible about it.  It can range in topic from your birth plan to how you decide to school your children and so many other things!!!  

What I felt was the hardest was when it came from those that were the closest to me (or so I thought).  

Obviously, I had experience with mom shaming before this year.  I mean, when you opt to have a c-section because you don't want to have both types of births at the same time, people that are very against anything but natural birth will let you know.  Lucky for me, the c-section was the right way, and I can understand why people feel that way about surgery, but ultimately for me it was about the safest way for me to bring my children into the world and let me take care of them and be present for them from birth on.

The second experience was when I just couldn't produce any milk so I stopped even trying to pump.  It had been a week and I was taking care of two infants by myself during the day and trying to pump at the same time.  I found I wasn't resting at all and they were thriving on formula so that was what we opted for.  

The most recent for me has been the hardest by far.  I became a single mom in the past year, and that is hard in itself.  Then you add in the COVID pandemic and trying to get myself out of a depressive funk and healthy again, it was a mix made in hell!  

When I became a single mom, I was at the most depressed and anxiety ridden that I had ever been in my life.  I was down to 85 pounds and was seriously scared for my health.  I knew that I had to pull it together for my girls and find my strength again.  So I did.  It took a while, and I had my fair share of pity parties (which anyone going through that knows is needed.  You can't hold those emotions in, it's not healthy!!!), but I finally found myself going out on my own again.  I would take myself out to my favorite place for a glass of wine when I didn't have the girls, just to get out of the house and expose myself to people again.

One night I met a guy.  I wasn't too sure about him but I gave him my number.  We started talking and ended up going out on a few dates.  When Valentines Day rolled around he asked if he could swing by to ask my daughters if it was ok for him to ask me to be his Valentine.  It was so sweet and they were so excited and thought that they had surprised me with it.

I got a lot of criticism for doing that.  I understand where it was coming from, but I also know my girls.  I knew that if I was going to be bringing someone into my life I wanted to make sure that they were comfortable with the person.  If they weren't, it would be a no go from the start.  I had always said that I wouldn't introduce them to someone until I was sure (if I ever had to be in that position).  The problem is you can say something all you want, but until you are going through it you really don't know what is best for you and your family.  

I know that I'm not a person to jump from relationship to relationship, or to introduce a new "daddy" every week.  That isn't me, but I wasn't going to consider something moving forward without the girls feeling comfortable.  It worked for me and my situation, but I can understand how that might not work for everyone else.  I have known people that waited until they had been with a person for years before introducing them to their children, and that worked for them and that is amazing!  

Ultimately, I think that biggest thing is finding what you are comfortable with.  As moms, I feel like we have an internal gauge that lets us know when something is right or wrong.  The biggest thing I think as women and moms we have to remember is we have instincts for a reason!!!!!!!

If your gut is telling something is right for your family, listen to it, but also make an educated decision.  Think about the pros and cons and see if it still works for you!  People can tell you "Hey, everyone is breastfeeding and you should be too", and that may be true, but if the situation arrives and you're not physically able to, don't beat yourself up!!  If your marriage or relationship ends and you still have smiling happy children that feel loved, safe and secure, your doing something right!!

At the end of the day, those kids are the most important thing.  I know I'm doing right by my girls when the call to say they miss me and that they just want to do fun things with me.  Their smiles and joy brought me back to life and let me know that at the end of the day, I'm doing something right!!  Don't let the mom shaming take that feeling away from you ever!!!!!