I'm Home!! Now what?

You're out of the hospital and you bring your twins home, and now the real fun begins!  In the hospital you have nurses and family and friends that come by and help you out.  Once your home, it's all you!  I have seen those multiple shows where the moms keep their kids on different schedules for feedings and naps.  Are they insane?  I mean, they eat and need changing every 3 hours!  My girls were lazy eaters, and it would take them 45 minutes to finish a 2 ounce bottle.  There I was, sitting hunched over them, holding the bottles for the entire time, every 3 hours!  Then you change their diapers and get them back down for a nap.  This whole process takes an hour and half or more, then there's this short little window of time for you to sleep or do stuff around the house.  If you have them on separate schedules, it will be feeding and changing 24 hours a day.  You WILL go insane if you do that!  Trust me!

Now, I may have offended some people by using the word bottle, especially when it concerns newborns.  I wanted to breast feed, and to be frank, I'm jealous of people that are able to.  But I know that there are some out there that will judge right away.  If you haven't had twins and want to do some judging, go right ahead, but until you have done what I have done, shut it!  

Rant over now!  I tried to breast feed with my girls, but like I said, they were lazy eaters.  Once they had latched on, they would eat a little bit and then fall asleep.  Remember my c-section story?  Imagine what the anesthesia and morphine did for my milk production.  My mom came and stayed with us for the first week with the girls, and I was able to try to pump after every feeding for them.  Unfortunately, my milk never really came in.  I was only able to get enough for one feeding each in a 24 hour period.  Not only was it painful, it was frustrating and tiring as well.  I decided that the best decision for my family was for me to be as close to 100% as possible so I could take care of my children, and if that meant strictly formula, then so be it.  

This worked well for my family, but I know that everyone is different.  If you have twins and are able to breast feed, I'm so excited and happy for you!  I'm sad that I couldn't, and I'm sad that I wasn't able to hear my girls first cries due to the anesthesia, but I have 2 healthy, happy girls and I am here in one peace and able to care for them.  No matter what, remember to not beat yourself up.  We are our worst critics, and you just have to remember that you are doing your best with what God gave you.  Love your twins, and make sure they know it, and you will be just fine! 

Labor and C-section, oh what fun!

Remember how I had the scheduled c-section?  I was sooooo nervous!  I had never had surgery before, and now I was going to be raising two infants.  Talk about scary!!  I felt so overwhelmed, and I even joked with my mom about just wanting to sleep through it.  

With a c-section you get an epidural, but before that they start an IV and draw blood work.  They need to make sure that your bleeding times are okay before any surgery.  Unfortunately for me, my platelets were too low for the epidural.  If I had one, I could bleed into my spine and could have been paralyzed.  Because of that, we opted for me to be put to sleep, so I got my wish hahaha!

After the surgery, I remember things here and there.  I was kind of out of it between the anesthesia and the morphine that they give you afterwards.  This is the first picture of me and my girls 

I barely remember this moment, but I will always treasure it!  Healing from the surgery was tough, but at least the girls weren't mobile yet!  All in all the experience wasn't bad, and in time the memory of the pain fades.  It's a little harder to plank now, but I'm in my 30's now too, so the more I do it the better I should get right?

Twin Belly Bump

So, you just found out you're having twins, and what do you do?  Go home and immediately Google twin pregnancy bellies, right?  WORST IDEA EVER!!!!!  You will be scared and start to freak out!  That's what I did.  Yes, you will have a bigger bump than all of your friends, yes it will be uncomfortable, but will it be worth it?  YES!!!!!

Here I was at 37 weeks.  I had just come off of 6 weeks of flat bed rest, and was still having a hard time moving.  Most twins are considered full term at 35 weeks, and my Doctor was amazed that I hadn't had the girls yet.  I went another week before my water broke, that day before my scheduled c-section.  Yes, I said it.  My c-section was scheduled.   It was recommended that I not take the pregnancy further than 38 weeks because there can be added complications.  I was monitored very closely during the whole pregnancy.  My girls are identical and they shared the same placenta.  We had to make sure that we didn't have the twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, where one twin takes all the nutrients.  

The other reason for the scheduled c-section was the girls positions in my uterus.  Baby A was head down like she should be, but Baby B was sideways across the top of my belly.  The likely hood of being able to deliver A naturally and then B flip the wrong way and have to have an emergency c-section was high.  I knew it would be hard enough to heal from one type, but didn't want to have to heal from both while taking care of two newborns.  As a first time mom that was daunting!

I'm glad that I went the route I did, I have two beautiful, healthy, rambunctious girls and I was able to take care of them.  I'll talk more about the c-section stuff in a later post, but for now, just know that the belly will be perfect, it will be big, but that's ok!  Get used to people asking when you're due at 5 months along when you look like your 8 months.  Then just be prepared for the shock and awe in their eyes when you say "Well, that's because I'm having twins!".  It makes it all worth it!

Life With Twins

Here I was, so excited to be pregnant after our miscarriage, sitting in the doctor's office with my husband waiting for our first ultrasound.  I was just hoping that it would be a viable pregnancy and that I wouldn't be too sick.  My nerves were on overdrive!

My doctor starts the ultrasound and shows us the heartbeat, it just looked like a little blob that was beating.  She moves the transducer just a little bit, and says "And here's the other heartbeat".  What??!! Other heartbeat?  What the hell does that mean?  "Congrats, you're going to have twins!"  Oh no, no way, not me!  I start to freak out while my husband just sits there grinning, he's so excited!  Of course he is, he doesn't have to be the size of a house, nor does he have to worry about how in the HELL am I going to give birth to 2 children at one time!  I'm only 5 ft. 3 in, and I have no torso to hold them in!

Fast forward 4 1/2 years, and here we are!  We have beautiful girls that can frustrate and amaze you all at the same time.  How do they do it?  Both talking at the same time and wanting your full attention all at once to the point your ready for that 5 o'clock somewhere glass of wine by 9 AM, and then turn around and be the sweetest little cuddlers on the planet!

I'm here to share my story with you, to let you know that you're not alone.  It's not always like those shows on TLC, sweet and lovey-dovey, and it's not always a horror show.  It's somewhere in between, and I wouldn't have it any other way!